Rosh HaShanah: All I Need to Know I Learned at Camp

Sermon by Rabbi Jennifer Hartman
2012/5773

There is a book and also a poem some of you may have heard of entitled All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum. It is one of my favorite poems. I had a poster of the poem hanging on my wall all through college. There was something wonderfully ironic about staring at this poster while I spent hours doing homework. For those of you who don’t know the poem I will share it with you now.

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned: • Share everything. • Play fair. • Don't hit people. • Put things back where you found them. • Clean up your own mess. • Don't take things that aren't yours. • Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. • Wash your hands before you eat. • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. • Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. • Take a nap every afternoon. • When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together. • Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we. • And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

I must admit I have not thought about this poem much since college. When I packed up my college dorm room for the last time and moved into an apartment I decided it was time to hang things with frames. My posters got rolled up and put into a poster tube and stored at my parent’s house. Maybe, one day, I would pull them out again. Then something completely unexpected happened in June. Our Camp TEKO director had to resign two weeks prior to the start of camp due to a family emergency. I was asked to step in. I would be less than honest if I said I jumped at the opportunity. While I was excited by the idea of spending the time helping to grow our camp and getting to know the campers, I was nervous. Was I capable of this endeavor? How would I quickly learn all there was to know about TEKO? Would I be able to make sure that every camper had a positive and memorable experience?

Growing up I went to camp every summer. JCC camps and theater camps, sports camps and overnight camps, I tried them all. I learned that I missed Shabbat and singing Jewish songs when I was at secular camp. I also learned that I did not really like overnight camp. More than that, all I knew was that camp was fun and something I had to do. As they both worked, my parents did not believe in letting my brother and me have two and a half months with no structure. When I talk to my friends who spent summer after summer going to Jewish overnight camp, their analysis is much different than mine. For them camp was not something fun to do over the summer, but a place where they discovered their true selves. It was a place where they felt independent and where they could safely explore their ideas and beliefs. It was the place where they made friends who knew them better than anyone else.

I became a believer in camp as an adult. As a rabbinical student I had the opportunity to observe the beginning stages of a new Union for Reform Judaism camp in the Pacific Northwest. Their enthusiasm for camp and all it has to offer children and families was contagious. This led me to run two summer programs for teenagers. One, in San Francisco, taught students about tzedakah and tikkun olam through volunteer projects around the city. The following summer I, along with other staff, led 40 teenagers through Eastern Europe and Israel. It turns out that everything I had ever heard about camp experiences is true. I watched as these teenagers blossomed through their experiences together, their need to rely on their inner strength and their new found friendships and their desire to forge connections with adults other than their parents. I was convinced of the benefits of sending teenagers away from home for a summer!

This past summer I saw, first hand, the incredible impact that camp, Jewish camp, had on over 300 children. I was witness to painfully shy children reaching out to others to make friends. I saw very competitive campers learn to lose with grace. I observed as kids learned how to make accommodations for their group members with special needs. I had the unbelievable responsibility of ushering 3rd and 4th graders into a stage of independence by helping them find the inner resilience to stay away from home for the first time. It was incredibly rewarding to see these children go from anxious, unsure campers to outgoing, independent, sleep away experts. For me, what was even more thrilling was seeing the campers excited about Judaism. By the end of their time at camp TEKO they knew the Motzi and Birkat Hamazon, they sang Modeh Ani with enthusiasm and Hatikvah with respect. The campers excitedly used the Hebrew word of the week and loved to guess the super heroes and heroines. It was exhilarating to see them engaged with Judaism.

Camp is a magical place. It is a place where “Parents, while supportive from afar, allow for the challenges of life, the successes and setbacks that a professional staff is prepared to channel into positive learning experiences. Children learn to respect one another and learn how to share.” In addition, the counselors at camp also learn and grow. As one camp counselor stated in a recent article: “What I do there matters.” She talked about helping a camper cope with her mother’s debilitating depression and comforting others whose parents were fighting or separating. She talked about the many hours devoted to water-skiing lessons, about instilling the confidence needed by awkward, gawky, painfully self-conscious 8 and 9-year-olds to stay prone in the water, hold on to the rope, then rise up and stay on their feet as the boat pulls away. “What’s more important than that?” she asked. Being a camp counselor gave her incomparable preparation for the future, requiring the skills to manage group projects and motivate individuals, set goals and juggle tight schedules, and stay available for 24 hours a day, six days a week, in sickness and in health.

As camp came to a close and I thought about all I had learned and all I had seen the campers and counselors learn over the summer I realized:

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned at camp. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the gaga pit. These are the things I learned: • Be patient. • Help others. • New experiences help us grow. • Remember to be thankful. • It is ok to take a risk. • Friends are a treasure. • Be a good listener. • Drink lots of water. • Wear sunscreen. • Running, jumping and skipping are all good for you. • Play is a great way to learn. • Everyone, even grown-ups, make mistakes. • When you are scared, take a friends hand and approach life together. • It is amazing what you can accomplish when you work as a team. • Sometimes in life we need to get dirty. • We all need Shabbat.

As I moved from being a camp director to a rabbi preparing for the High holidays these lessons stayed with me. They are the lessons we remind ourselves of each year at this time. As we look back on the year we reflect on times we wish we had been more patient with ourselves and others. We think about the times others reached out their hand to help us in our times of need and are grateful for their love and friendship.

During this season we take the risk of looking deep into our souls. It can be an uncomfortable endeavor because we do not know what we will find. We find the courage to take this plunge because, as with most risks in life, the rewards are immeasurable. Doing this work together as a community makes it much less frightening! Our rabbis, in their wisdom, wrote the confessional prayers in the plural for just this reason. We admit our sins with the prayers of this season, almost all of which are written in the plural; we have sinned, we have transgressed, we turn to God, we ask for mercy. Alone, the act seems overwhelming, but together we can take on any challenge or confront any fear. This is one of the primary lessons of camp.

At camp we learn to listen, listen to counselors and life guards, but also to our friends. Rosh Hashanah reminds us of the importance of listening to and really hearing one another. Shema! We often forget to listen not only to what is spoken, but also to what is unspoken. Listen to the heart of another. Listen to the words of the eyes and the soul. Only in this way will we be able to ask for and give forgiveness. Only in this way will we truly be aware of all the blessings in our life and be grateful for them. The capacity to forgive, and the willingness of others to forgive each of us, is truly one of these blessings.

Life, not just camp, is dirty. It is filled with mud and dirt, scraped knees and elbows, hurt feelings and bruised egos. It is in these moments of messiness that we learn the most, grow the most, and uncover the most about our true natures. These are the times we learn to treasure our friends, not fight with them. They are the times we are reminded we are resilient enough to fall. They are the times we remember how important it is to take proper care of ourselves and our environment. As children we are encouraged to take risks and make mistakes. We are told that they are not a big deal and a part of learning. As adults we forget this lesson and think that we must always be perfect. We try to present ourselves as flawless. It is an ideal we cannot sustain. How much happier would we be if we gave ourselves the permission we give our children? How much more fun would we have if we held hands and joyfully skipped from one activity to another?

Most of us no longer have the opportunity to go to camp. Nor do we have the built in time for vacation that the school schedule provides. Rarely in our busy lives to we slow down and take account of all that has happened in our lives both good and bad. We rely on these High Holidays for a time to reflect. They support us, guide us, and help us to uncover these important lessons. During this time we are reminded of our obligations to ourselves, to each other and to our tradition. We are reminded of all we do every day and all those around us do to help make our lives meaningful.

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur remind us of the lessons, but it is in our daily experiences that they come alive. That is part of what makes camp so special. It is a microcosm of what we wish the world might be. Let us leave these 10 Days of Awe renewed, restored and re-dedicated to making the wisdom of the Gaga pit real in our lives.

i May 29, 2012, The Camp Counselor vs. the Intern By DAN FLESHLER